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+ God Blessed the Broken Road is heartfelt, perfect for the rain outside.

+ suddenly it rained hard. A typhoon coming in some news but when i called my mom at my hometown, she exagerrated it like it is one late apocalypse afternoon there. i am accustomed to all these typhoon stuff. and i miss it. i miss it whenever i am home. downpours are normal to us, i guess. our peninsula, that land protruding out of the Luzon mainland has always been monsoons' favorite stopovers. i had many childhood memories with typhoon. they were perhaps fascinating. At night in rage, it whistles. heavy rains come during the whole day.  the calm before the storm has always been one of the nature's best moment. imagine, all elements conspiring against you and then it slowly devours you, you are helpless. not to mention, the first sweet sunlight thereafter.

+I called them my first true senior friends. erick and gerard. gerard eventually became my first bestfriend. We had the best of memories during high school up to some periods during college. but now, barely we meet. even gerard, who is working in paranaque, considers manila a batanes. we never get to meet anymore. there are so many blocks that we consider email as the best alternative to update ourselves. just this week, we manage to exchange emails everyday, the very first ever. our topic however revolved around erick. erick, we found out, has a girlfriend. the gayest of us in strutting has his very first innocent girlfriend. in our phone conversation, i played a role of Larry King. 

Q: have you changed preference?
A: not really.
Q: I mean, will you be comfortable with us when we get to meet?
A: Oo naman. we will still see each other and talk like we used to
Q: Did you have already sex with her?
A: we are barely four months
Q: And no touch? kiss?
A: no touch yet. kiss, yes
Q: you're still gay.
A: hahahaha
Q: so, does she know you're gay?
A: it wont matter
Q: why? you could have at least be open enough about your past?
A: past is past. i mean, why do we have to dig with the past.
Q: What if she discovers more than that?
A: That's why when we get to meet, we choose a place somewhere far
Q: Is manila okay? you should tell her
A: no need. there's a lot of control in me not to look on the other side. i love her. it just came then i was falling in love already
Q: I dont doubt that. but it just feels weird..you and ray (the other gay who has the same scenario)
A: It is not weird. I hope you understand
Q: Of course i understand. maybe you can tell me details soon
A: sure